Addicted to the likes

Addicted to the likes! 

Why the hell am I on my phone so much?

I am addicted to my phone and the validation I get from the likes and comments! 

I am addicted to my phone and the feeling I get when I receive a message! 

I am addicted to my phone and I can’t have notifications unchecked! 

I am addicted to my phone and I check my emails and other inboxes even though there is no notification and I only checked them 10mins ago.

I am currently up to day 8 of not posting publicly on any of my social media platforms.

It’s fucking hard! Like really hard!

Social media and our smartphones are now just part of everyday life.

I have seen children as young as 5 having their own smart phone on a plan and everything.

Hell, I didn’t get my first phone until I was 14 and back then I wasn’t even cool enough to have Nokia 3310.

I had some random brand that certainly doesn’t exist anymore and you had to read your text message in one long line across a very narrow screen.

Hey grateful I even got that at the time.

Then let’s progress into adult life and the continued growth of smartphones and evolution of social media.

Social media became a gigantic part of my life in 2010 when I opened my first brick and mortar store in Ipswich.

The very first Diamond cut hair and makeup studio!

We were tucked away in a little upstairs location so didn’t have the street frontage and social media was the biggest hit for me to connect and find my clientele.

There were pages and profiles, Instagram was only a few months old so I hadn’t added that to the list yet but it was quietly sneaking up on me, yet another platform to be on.

And now the list of social media apps it’s pretty hectic and there are still new ones coming out all the time.

Social media has become consuming for me.

 

“Hi my name is Cassandra Barrie and I am addicted to social media and my smartphone”

Over this past week I have done a bit of a deep dive into understanding why I am constantly checking my phone.
Like I mentioned above it’s not even because I got a notification, if I pick up my phone I can’t actually put it down until I have opened up my emails and refreshed them, checked instagram, tik tok and facebook.
It’s almost like an OCD habit!

And as I worked deeper into understanding why, I uncovered that need for validation, for someone to acknowledge my hard work and to have someone to talk to.

It was a desire to be seen and heard.

Having several businesses was a good excuse to be on my phone and to be posting several times a day but I was just using the business to hide the fact that there was a deeper desire to my posting.

And I discovered the deeper desire!
In so many ways I do hate that a lot of the deeper situations in my life do steem back to my Husband’s death. 

But lets be fucking real loosing your husband while 30 weeks pregnant is some traumatic shit and I really probaly havent given it the air time that it really needs.

And now I know for me a lot of the wants and desires of being seen and heard, being able to connect and talk to people even if it is just a brief interaction comes from the fact that I feel so god damn alone in my life without him.

And the thing is I am not going to fill that space and void in my life with likes and comments on bloody social media!

So this week off line has been even more powerful than I thought it could ever be.
I have discovered things within myself and an understanding of what’s truly important for me and my businesses.

Yes I am going to go back to posting online shortly and continue to share all of Me.

I know people have missed my ugly crying in their stories!

And I am going to focus my posting on being more organic, not stressing if I didn’t share that event, or worrying about annoying people if I shared that event too much.

Not scheduling loads of content to just make sure I am still showing up and keeping on top of the algorithm.

Not getting worried about whether it had any likes or comments or deleting it because no one liked it.

I am going to use these platforms for me to just be me and the people who are meant to be in my epic and badass vortex will appear when the time is right and they will see what is meant for them.

It is called social media for a reason it was designed to be social not scripted and automated and to generate leads!

Stay tuned for the rebirth of Cassandra Barrie coming to a social media platform near you!


Here’s a few tips on how you can disconnect and be mindful of the time you spend on line and what you see:

Unfollow or unfriend people who clog up your news feed with things that don’t bring you joy.
Set a screen time, time limit for the apps you feel you are on too much.

Unlike pages that are no longer relevant to you.
Remove yourself from facebook groups that you no longer want to be in.
Set yourself scrolling time in your day and stick to it.
Turn on notifications for the pages and groups you do want to see.
Engage with those who inspire you and you want to see more of them. If you like and comment their content will appear in your feeds more frequently.
Don’t forget to be social off the screen as well.
No phones at the dinner table.
Have disconnect days, yep a whole day without being on your phone!